A Box of Unfortunate Events: The Dilemma Deepens, Lemony Snicket
This box contains three books, none of which would be good for you to read. All you will find here are depressing tales, unpleasant settings, and endless misfortune. These books contain no additional information whatsoever. There are no important secrets to be found within these volumes - particularly secrets that would be of interest to a treacherous villain, please skip to the end of this letter.
The books within this box - entitled THE VILE VILLAGE, THE HOSTILE HOSPITAL, and THE CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL - are the results of a solemn vow I made to research every last detail of the miserable lives of the Baudelaire children. I’m sad to say that these chronicles include such unpleasantries as kidnapping, disguise, murder, paperwork, another disguise, heart-shaped balloons, false allegations, stiletto heels, a shattered crystal ball, a cryptic map, an irritating song, and quite a few more disguises. Such disagreeable details can not possibly be of interest to you unless you are a treacherous villain. If you are not a treacherous villain, please skip to the end of this letter.
This is the end of the letter. Good bye.
With all due respect,
Boxset: Books 7, 8, 9